
An old picture of myself :-) in the cab on the way to KL Sentral to attend Asia Super Model Searc h 2008 and unfortunately, I didn’t even manage to get into finals .
I’m really ashamed of who I was . I did many stupid things in the past and I have a lot of regrets in life . Not listening to my mom lead me to who I am today. My advise to all teen girls out there is always listen to your mom, don’t be rebellious and get all whiny and fucked up when she doesn’t let you out. For the world is cruel..harsh….cold and human beings are cunning..intelligent..mind fucking..
I was mind fucked most of the time because I wasn’t the most intelligent person in my group , I was manipulated and used by “friends” ..
I still remember there was once I was hanging in a friend’s house, and 20 pills of ecstasy went missing . ( We all knew who took it in the end – once a thief, always a thief ) And everyone suspected me . But what the heck , will I be so silly to put myself into danger for carrying 20 pills of ecstasy , it will definitely be enough to get me nailed at Section 15 (1) (A) . Thank God I had an eye witness, I was with her all the time .
I didn’t realize what was going on , till I was getting cornered to tell whether I took it or not . A dumbcunt – yes you can call me that . But sorry douche bag, the truth will always come up.
Another time I was in my ex boyfriend’s house , it was only the three of us – me , my ex and his partner . A packet of meth went missing when he woke up . I was busy playing PS2 and had no witness at the moment, his partner was out but came back and into the room once , and my ex – sleeping the whole time..
When he woke up and accused me for stealing , I started crying . How could he even think that I steal his meth . I loved him , but what made me chau tut was how could he even think of me like that, that disgusts me . But the truth came up , the fatfcuk was then kicked out from his house and till now, nobody knows if my ex smoked all of it before he sleep or either that fatfcuk partner took it .
God damn it , I sound like a freaking lawyer trying to collect information and analyze it .
What’s my point is , don’t be a freaking douche bag and go against your mom . She’s like freaking 40 years old and seen the world twice as much as you so-called seen it , she knows a lot more than you knew.
What I did to my family was unforgivable and disgusting .
I hit my dad , I hit my mom , I didn’t go home for months , I hit my brothers , I insulted them , I broke my grandpa’s heart … in the very end, when I went psycho , they still love me the very same , ta pao KFC for me while I was in the hospital, bought a PSP for me to entertain me ..
Basically , I am spoilt .
If I didn’t stop what I was doing , I think I will end up in a prostitution den , selling my body for more meth .. than who I am today , still studying in a private school , sleeping in a nice room and getting whatever I want .
You have a choice , plan A or B .. And it’s up to you douche bags if you all want to screw your future :)
P.S. Yes, I'm so freaking bossy and good at telling you what to do and what not to do, but when it comes down all to myself, I can barely help myself . I'm very lost at this point and the 'L' word is driving me nuts . I'm an over achiever , and I'm a perfectionist . And that's the fucking problem , I always need a 100% OR I won't bother doing it at all . It's always all or nothing . So here I am, standing at the route where I had to choose and make a decision , two roads diverged into the woods , and I had already chosen the road less traveled on , and that has totally made all the fucking differences , and I still have not learn , learn to say NO to drugs, learn to say NO to fucking around, learn to say NO to what will destroy my life :-(
To be honest, I'm not clean .... I'm not sober ....
And I can't tell anyone else .. Cause they all have hopes on me , and if I tell , I'll be the shit bag that shatter their hopes and faiths on me .
Sigh , I can only pray someone will hold my hand and tell me what to do.